I'm still going strong

Most of the side effects have dissipated (which is a good thing), but I'm kind of bummed that I'm not really having fun dreams anymore - I started to look forward to going to bed to see what my brain was going to come up with next.

On the flip side, things from a professional standpoint have been pretty stressful lately. I've kidded around with a few of my colleagues that maybe I quit too soon, but I'm proud to say that even though I've been tempted, I've stayed strong.

8 weeks down. 4 to go. Then I'll be a "non-smoker." Holler.

So I Slipped...

I know I'm overdue for a post - things have been quite busy with work lately and I'm actually kind of proud with how I've been handling the stress (i.e. not smoking cigarettes). I'm spending some of this time now looking up new posts on Failblog, and I'm now into my fourth week of using Chantix.

I slipped. Just a couple of times, but still. The first was after I had downed an entire bottle of wine at a friend's house (I went out and purchased a pack), the second, again after I had something to wet my whistle. So get this - I'm really serious about quitting this time, so I was a bit disappointed in myself and handed over the remaining 18 pack of cigarettes to a smoker friend without batting an eye. Not bad, huh?

More and more lately I can smell EVERYTHING and the scent on someone's clothes after they've had a smoke is overwhelming. I really didn't think it was that bad when I was at it. The good news is that with Thanksgiving around the corner, I'll be able to enjoy what I've been missing for so long.

And the nausea has subsided (a bit). I've learned to take the drug immediately after I've eaten, and I really haven't been having crazy dreams or night terrors or anything. Could be because I'm also taking antidepressants, but whatever it is, it's working.

Thanks to all of my cheerleaders! I'm doing pretty good and think that this time, it's going to stick.

1 Week Down

I have to admit, it's not as difficult as I thought it would be.

I think Pfizer has figured out that if they make the cigarettes taste terrible and encourage you to keep smoking a week into the drug, that the memory of just how bad it was is enough to make one quit. That's been my experience so far. I managed to get through a whole week without a single drag, and have noticed a few additional things:

1) I now have a bionic sense of smell. Seriously. I think it's driving my husband kind of nuts, especially since he doesn't really know why "all of a sudden" I can smell everything and make that fact well known.

2) The nausea sucks. Especially at night. I have to make the change from taking the pill before I go to bed (with my other medications), to dinner time I think. Laying down and feeling like I'm going to ralph is really no fun at all.

3) So far, there have been no night terrors, and I'm kind of disappointed about that. I was hoping that like my pharmacist's mother (who also used Chantix), I'd have a big purple dinosaur chasing me through my neighborhood. Seriously, Barney is not scary.

So. 1 week down, 12 more to go.

Day 1: Success

I managed not to smoke a single cigarette yesterday, and today, so far so good (but I really want one right this second, so instead, I'm writing).

I've successfully identified my triggers (another workbook activity): after a meal (that one after lunch is especially hard), in the car, when I'm feeling stressed or anxious, and being around other smokers.

At any rate, I'm learning to avoid these triggers and substitute other things. And I'm drinking a shitton of water, so my skin is already starting to look healthier. I've noticed that since I've switched to the blue Chantix pill, I'm starting to feel a little nauseous, so I'm trying to take with meals. Hopefully this will make me feel better and help me get over these things.

Week 1: The Workbook

So my prescription came with a workbook that seemed helpful initially. I'm a bit of a control freak and like to accomplish everything on my list. So on day 1, my activity was to keep a smoking log attached to my pack of Parliaments. I did, and was pretty good about logging my cigarettes for about a day or two, but things kind of fell apart on Thursday. Days 2-7, let's just say the dog ate my homework. Here's my attempt at catch-up:

Day 2: My personal reasons for quitting:
1) To live longer
2) To live a healthier lifestyle
3) To have a family
4) To look better
5) To stop lying to my family

Reason #5 is probably the most compelling for me, and really relates to all the others. I'm a closet smoker. My coworkers and friends know I smoke, but I've never come out to my husband, parents, or baby sister. For a long time I convinced myself that I had them all fooled. That my hair and my breath didn't smell like smoke or that my fingers weren't turning yellow from holding the damn things. I wish I could take back all the time wasted on fights with my husband, the denial, the avoidance.

Today is my quit date, October 28. So far, so good.

A $45,000 Bonus

My boss, being so delighted with my decision to stop smoking called me into a room that kind of resembled my high school library. A few of my coworkers were present and everyone was kind of talking at once, so I wasn't quite sure what was going on. He reached into his pocket and handed me a check for $45,000. Puzzled, I asked him, "what's this about?" to which he replied, "just a performance bonus." I can tell you, I don't get bonuses anywhere near this, and instantly I thought, "Well hot damn. I can get pregnant sooner than I was planning to."

And then I woke up. Seriously - didn't think the crazy dreams would start so soon, nor did I imagine cottonmouth this bad. And since I get to keep smoking for another 6 days, well, the taste is now just plain nasty. Bye bye buzz. I'll miss you.

Picked up the RX

So today, after holding onto the script my doctor wrote me over two months ago, I finally decided to cash it in. Effective today, October 21, I begin smoking cessation via Chantix, which apparently is going to give me crazy dreams. I'll still be able to smoke until October 29, so here goes nothing.

I'm hoping to use this blog to distract me from those 5 minute cravings, and am hoping to entice others to contribute. Check back for guest authors, and if you need a distraction, leave a comment or ten.