Day 1: Success

I managed not to smoke a single cigarette yesterday, and today, so far so good (but I really want one right this second, so instead, I'm writing).

I've successfully identified my triggers (another workbook activity): after a meal (that one after lunch is especially hard), in the car, when I'm feeling stressed or anxious, and being around other smokers.

At any rate, I'm learning to avoid these triggers and substitute other things. And I'm drinking a shitton of water, so my skin is already starting to look healthier. I've noticed that since I've switched to the blue Chantix pill, I'm starting to feel a little nauseous, so I'm trying to take with meals. Hopefully this will make me feel better and help me get over these things.

Week 1: The Workbook

So my prescription came with a workbook that seemed helpful initially. I'm a bit of a control freak and like to accomplish everything on my list. So on day 1, my activity was to keep a smoking log attached to my pack of Parliaments. I did, and was pretty good about logging my cigarettes for about a day or two, but things kind of fell apart on Thursday. Days 2-7, let's just say the dog ate my homework. Here's my attempt at catch-up:

Day 2: My personal reasons for quitting:
1) To live longer
2) To live a healthier lifestyle
3) To have a family
4) To look better
5) To stop lying to my family

Reason #5 is probably the most compelling for me, and really relates to all the others. I'm a closet smoker. My coworkers and friends know I smoke, but I've never come out to my husband, parents, or baby sister. For a long time I convinced myself that I had them all fooled. That my hair and my breath didn't smell like smoke or that my fingers weren't turning yellow from holding the damn things. I wish I could take back all the time wasted on fights with my husband, the denial, the avoidance.

Today is my quit date, October 28. So far, so good.

A $45,000 Bonus

My boss, being so delighted with my decision to stop smoking called me into a room that kind of resembled my high school library. A few of my coworkers were present and everyone was kind of talking at once, so I wasn't quite sure what was going on. He reached into his pocket and handed me a check for $45,000. Puzzled, I asked him, "what's this about?" to which he replied, "just a performance bonus." I can tell you, I don't get bonuses anywhere near this, and instantly I thought, "Well hot damn. I can get pregnant sooner than I was planning to."

And then I woke up. Seriously - didn't think the crazy dreams would start so soon, nor did I imagine cottonmouth this bad. And since I get to keep smoking for another 6 days, well, the taste is now just plain nasty. Bye bye buzz. I'll miss you.

Picked up the RX

So today, after holding onto the script my doctor wrote me over two months ago, I finally decided to cash it in. Effective today, October 21, I begin smoking cessation via Chantix, which apparently is going to give me crazy dreams. I'll still be able to smoke until October 29, so here goes nothing.

I'm hoping to use this blog to distract me from those 5 minute cravings, and am hoping to entice others to contribute. Check back for guest authors, and if you need a distraction, leave a comment or ten.